Wile E. Coyote’s Guide to Offense

I’ve always been a big fan of the Road Runner. It’s why I studied Physics in college, as it was intriguing to learn the cosmos exists as an ordered system, and it’s possible to figure stuff out — like what angle to launch your ACME rocket from a 1,000 foot cliff to hit a Road Runner 1/4 mile away traveling at 60mph. Nevermind, we already know the answer — Coyote will ultimately free-fall to the valley floor, with his rocket crashing on top of him (and then exploding). Poof!

In one episode two kids watch TV and ask why does the coyote even want the Road Runner? At that point Wile E. Coyote stopped (whatever ACME product he was working on) and addressed the boys.

A legitimate question, one that deserves a legitimate answer.

I’d guess many readers might have the same response after last weeks article — sure, this should be a year of offense, but just how in the name of ACME Corporation am I supposed to do that?

A legitimate question, one that deserves an answer.

The Nature of Warfare

Just about everyone I know is having tough times. From a pathetic economy, inflation, finances, many are stretched to their limit … and beyond. Doom. Despair. Desperation. Discouragement.

However, always remember one thing — enemies don’t normally bother with non-threats (unless, of course, it’s personal as we talked about last week).

If you’re in the thick of a nasty mess, be thankful! After all, that’s why you’re here. Christianity isn’t a spectator sport, so if you’re not in the game, it’s time to make a difference.

Step One

At the point of breaking, it’s common to hear cries of “I’m just so under attack right now.”

That’s a wimpy excuse. Folding like a cheap lawn chair is never a good military strategy. Never. You can analyze the situation and make a tactical response, or perish while doing nothing. Wile E. keeps trying, planning, and scheming, believing this time ACME Corporation won’t let him down.

Wile E. Coyote isn’t just smart, he’s a super genius. If he failed, so will you, if he has problems with ACME Corporation’s gizmo, you’ll have problems with your cell phone, if he gets crunched by the piano as it falls to the bottom of the canyon … well, you get the idea.

The Road Runner won’t surrender, you’ve got to go to him, on offense.


Just about everyone knows the story of David and Goliath. David faced off with the giant armed only with a sling. But read carefully, and you’ll find out what actually did the giant in (think about it before continuing. We’ll wait. Honest).

David cut off Goliath’s head with his own sword (1 Samuel 17:51).

That’s our basic method — take the enemies resources and use them against him.


When you’re feeling desperate and alone, it’s time to pray … but not for yourself, but think of three people going through tough times and pray for them.

When you’re cold and hungry, prepare a meal for someone else.

When tired, get up and go to that Wednesday service you always seem too busy to attend.

But that’s it?

Yep. Simple, but hard. It’s not easy, but regular readers know we’re interested in going from a 98 pound weakling white-belt to a combat tested black-belt.

If it was easy, everybody would do it.

Two Choices

Okay, you say, I’m still bummed, and life is hard, and nothing gets better, only worse. Sadly, that’s reality for many situations — when a family member dies, it’s not going to get better. Personally, I believe we do a huge disservice to people saying things like “it’s going to get better,” when many times it might not.

Despair not, for (as always), you’ve got two choices:

Tap-out or tag-out.

If you’ve seen MMA bouts, you’ve seen a fighter work on another and get them in an arm-bar, or choke hold, or some other submission. When he finally realizes he can’t win (or he’s about to black out), he’ll “tap out” by tapping the leg or mat, and the referee stops the match.

That differs from the tag-out.

I remember early Saturday morning wrestling matches long ago, when they’d have two-on-two tag matches. But only one of each side could be in the ring at once. If you got in trouble, you would get to the side and tag your friend, who (hopefully) would fly in and whomp on your oppressor.

Life is no different. Do you tap-out or tag-out?

One Letter Makes A Difference

Notice a “P” and “G” are almost mirrors of each other? It’s when you decide to start using the enemies own sword against him you’ll move from tap-out (defense) to tag-out (offense).

We all have situations when we’re struggling and tired. Never, ever, never believe you’re all alone, or going on offense means never being tired, or discouraged, or frustrated.

Wile E. never gives up. For most people, falling off a thousand foot high cliff or getting pummeled by a train would quench their desire quite a bit. But not Wile E. (naturally, being able to walk away from such disasters, even if looking like a Slinky, helped a bit I’m sure).

Once you begin to reflect back attacks, once you understand sometimes it’s personal, not strategic, once you decide to escape The Matrix, you’ll be in good position to transition from defense to offense.

Be Ready!

Wile E. Coyote could have used someone to tag-out. Who are you staring at on the sides while you stubbornly refuse to tag-out — ultimately resulting in a tap-out?

You might have heard some people give advice like if you’re feeling bad, do some ministry and you’ll feel better.

That doesn’t work, as you don’t need to take your mind off a bad situation, you must make the enemy pay for attacking you in the first place. You don’t do that with physical means, you use the armor of God, and if you haven’t yet mastered that, you better start training … now.

We’re not talking about trying to distract yourself from a miserable situation, we’re talking about turning the tables — switching a defensive situation to an offensive one. If you’re surrounded, if it seems like the entire enemy force surrounds you, be encouraged, as that means you can attack in any direction, if you think offensively.

Sure, it’s hard, and only a few progress to black-belt. Will you be a Christian black-belt, or will you remain a 98-pound weakling? It’s your choice.

Never give in. Never surrender. But never be so stubborn you refuse to tag-out to someone else for help when the going gets rough. Only a foolish soldier attacks solo. Give me my buddies — all I can muster.

Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me? (Jeremiah 32:27)

Take advantage of something ACME never provided Wile E. Coyote — tools that actually work.

Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield; but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear; for the battle is the LORD’S, and he will give you into our hands. (1 Samuel 17)

Filed Under: Christian Living

Recommended Citation:
Yeager, Darrin "Wile E. Coyote’s Guide to Offense" (2024-05-19 17:20),
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