The Garden of Eden is Texas

When I die, I may not go to heaven; I don’t know if they let cowboys in. If they don’t, just let me go to Texas, boy! ’Cause Texas is as close as I’ve been. (Tanya Tucker)

I just returned from a business trip to Houston. One thing you should know … I hate travel. My idea of travel involves traversing the six miles from our town to the next (which has a grocery store). I’d like to move because the city just installed a stoplight (yep, a single stoplight). Oh the humanity! Will someone please think of the children?

I don’t just hate travel, I despise, loath, and detest it.

I can talk in front of hundreds of people. No problem. Demon-possessed zombies? I’m in for the fight. Crisis? Chaos? I’m up for it. Tough, but I can move through it.

But travel? Away from family?

Doom. White knuckles. Stomachache. Pepto and Tums. Despair (even of life).

It’s like throwing water on the wicked witch of the east, a silver bullet to a werewolf, and Kryptonite to Superman. Yep, it’s that bad — it’s the worst of all possible situations.

I’ll take a flock of demon-possessed zombies any day.

I know what you’re thinking — what a dopey, irrational problem! Wait a minute, are you scared of the dark? Elevators? Clowns? Heights? Pteromerhanophobia? Agoraphobia? Mysophobia?

At least my loathing is Godly and Biblical — God said it is not good for man to be alone.

Did I mention I despise travel?

As a result, I ended up in a conversation with God … a lot. Lord, where is the rental car? How can I get to the motel? Oh, and can you give the pilots an extra measure of skill? Can you just get me home? Pleeeeease. NOW (patience being a virtue in most other circumstances).

Yep, I hate traveling away from home — unless the whole family comes (rule 1: the family sticks together. Always).

Then one morning I was reminded those conversations occurred in the garden between God and Adam before the curse. Adam had to ask the Lord for everything. Lord, is it okay to toss the pigskin around? Of course. Is it okay to have a burger and fries? Naturally. Is it okay to eat quiche? Negative! Put the fork down, and slowly back away.

After eating from the tree of good and evil, Adam believed he knew right from wrong, and tried to handle things on his own. Well, we know how well that turned out (note to self — listening to snakes rarely provides optimum results).

While I was traveling, I frequently spoke (well, begged and sniveled, but that doesn’t sound as spiritual) to the Lord. Now that I’m back, not so much.

Just like Adam.

We really haven’t gotten better and better over thousands of years. We should learn, but usually don’t.

For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. (Romans 15:4 NKJV)

Did I mention I despise travel?

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